Hungry ramblings

Right now, I’m hungry and mad, but I’m not hangry. Maybe mad is a bit extreme, I just happen to be in a bad mood and am now focusing on how hungry I am. Will I be in a better mood when I finally get something to eat? Will I get something to eat? Or will I just sit here, mad and hungry, and just starve until either the hunger goes away or it’s so unbearable that now it’s transformed into physical pain dispersed throughout my entire body. Why is eating so hard sometimes? For some reason sometimes it feels like starving and thinking about being hungry is better than getting up and getting something to eat. I’d have to get off the couch, walk to the fridge (thankfully on the same level as I am right now), stand there and look at the fridge filled with possibilities. Maybe not FILLED, but there’s options. Of course nothing I could just heat up, so I would have to brainstorm. Well there’s eggs so that creates lots of options. But I’m not really in the mood for eggs right now. As I stand at the fridge I can’t stop thinking about my flat feet getting irritated and how comfy the couch is. I shut the fridge and open some cabinets. I could just snack on something. But once again nothing is sounding good. The more I read the less of an appetite I have. I’m still hungry, though. Now I’m hungry, in a bad mood, and all of a sudden have an aversion to every item in my house. Defeated, I go back to the couch. I jump onto the couch with more effort that I’ve put into anything in a long time. Comfort swallows me whole. This is a great couch. I’m still hungry. I could order delivery, that would give me lots of options. But then of course I’d have to get off the couch, put something more than shorts and a tank top on and walk down the stairs. My feet hurt thinking about it, which causes my knees to hurt, which causes my back to hurt. I suddenly feel like I’m wearing a weighted vest. I think about what I saw in the fridge again. Everything sounds even worse than it did the first time. I’m so ungrateful. I don’t have much, but I have enough. Great, now I’m hungry, in a bad mood, feeling disgusted by food, and I feel like I caused world hunger. Of course I didn’t. I try to help in ways that I can. I can do more. I could always do more. Suddenly my irritation turns to sorrow and disappointment. Listen to me, I sound terrible. I need a nap.